ok, i think i have been putting off starting this blog longer than i thought i would. My first post was back in 2014 and i remember telling myself that this would be a perfect opportunity to document my growth post-graduation (and also bits and pieces of self-vanity lol).
You see, I have realised over the past year that i have a huge problem with 'imperfection'- when something isn't up to my standards, i just pretend like it was never there and forget about it. An ideal example would be my instagram, i stopped uploading pictures and went on periods of hiatus just because.... according to my somewhat twisted standards, my feed looks TERRIBLE.
I remember before driving through the nullabor (oh yes, i'm finally in melbourne city, 50% dream come true!) I have made two big promises to myself:
I WILL LEARN TO LOVE MYSELF
I will treasure relationships (family, friends and God)
For the past..... many years, i have idolized famous youtubers and instagrammers, adoring their perfect lives running around nyc and la. While that was happening, I struggled to appreciate me for being me, and so i ignored me, literally. In short, i basically 'potato couched' my past years away dreaming about being successful.
It is actually okay to dream big, and trust me i have big, almost unachievable dreams... i just have to pick my ass up and JUST DO IT (like nike). I have to stop moaning, and actually start to appreciate my imperfections. And I definitely do not need to worry what my instagram feed looks like in the past.
This year, i shall call it my 'DIG DEEP' year. I will try and love my imperfect self, because being 'imperfect' in my standards makes me a perfect Camilla. I just need actively do things to make myself better, and i hope this blog marks the start of this special journey.
